An Ode to the Humble Chippy Tea

Picture this. It's a cold and dark evening in the middle February. The temperature peaked at 4 degrees at midday and has been declining ever since. It's been drizzly all day, and the sun went down at 5pm. Winter blues have fully set in, and the warmth of Summer seems but a mirage. Add to this a banging headache & sense of woosiness from one too many G&Ts the night before. Now imagine walking into your local chippy and being hit with that overwhelming smell of salt and vinegar. The lady behind the counter asks you in a thick regional accent 'Wha' you havin' duck?'. You ask for your favourite, and wait with childlike giddiness for your order to be called.

Salt and vinegar lovingly sprinkled on top, you are handed your bundle of joy. A quick scurry to the car to prevent any exposure to the bitter cold, more for the sake of the food than yourself, you jump into the drivers seat. You place your pride and joy on the passengers seat, and let the most glorious smell fill your nostrils.

You speed home, eager to dive into the most desireable thing on the planet right now.

Once home, you open the freshly wrapped paper and once again inhale that oh so wonderful smell. Eaten straight from the paper, and using your fingers (IMHO it's sacrilege to eat chip shop chips with a fork) you pick at the mountain of chips in front of you. They stick together, so when you pick up one, a whole family follow. Sensing something wonderful is being consumed, your family come in one by one, seduced by the nostalgic smell. They pick at the meal too, pinching a chip here, a bit of batter there. Normally you'd be annoyed by this, but there is something communal about a chip shop tea, even if you did buy them for yourself. Everyone testifies at the deliciousness of them, and asks for 'just one more'.

You finish up with the crispy bits, often the most glorious of them all. Sitting back in your chair, you sigh and enjoy the feeling of fullness and satisfaction.

For many this is an ordinary weekend experience. But for you this is much more. This is a celebration of food, of life and of being free. Being free to eat what you want, when you want and to be banished from food rules.

This is saying 'No' to diet culture and the incessant need to make 'guilt-free' takeaways at home. This is a triumph, a sense of achievement and a testament to the joy which food can bring. It's feeding your soul AND your body. And my God, does it taste good.