Words are a lens to focus one’s mind

TRP Challenge 1: Start blogging, again

I used to write a blog. I used to spend hours editing the html, reviewing the posts I'd written and scrawling through all my favourite blogs. It was a hobby of mine which I sadly began to neglect.

I've always loved reading and writing. My career ambition used to be to be a travel journalist. Or food journalist, I could never pick. English was always my best subject at school. I studied English Literature and Philsophy at University, which basically means I spent 3 years as a (semi) professional reader and writer.

When I left University, I think I left a part of that behind. I stopped writing my blog. I stopped reading other peoples blogs. Ultimately, I don't think this was because I didn't enjoy either of those things anymore. It was because they reminded me of a difficult time in my life which I was trying to desperately separate myself from.

Looking back on my blog now, I am filled with a sense of sadness. Behind the smiling pictures and rave reviews about restaurants & trips to foreign lands is the truth. I was suffering from an eating disorder which consumed my life & thieved me of joy. Much like social media, blogs can be a way to portray your life as perfect, with a filter which blocks out any of the negative feelings or situations you may be in.

Don't be fooled into thinking that someone who appears to be having the time of their life on instagram actually is. That person travelling the world posting pictures of far off places doesn't show the nights they return to their cheap hostel & cry about how home sick they are. The person posting selfie after selfie doesn't show the times that their self confidence hits rock bottom. The person who always seems to have the most perfect & wholesome meals doesn't show when they have potato waffles for dinner because they had such a long day at work. We are all putting plasters over the negatives and pretending everything is perfect. And this is what I was doing with my old blog, I was showing all the places I was visiting, foods I was eating, the fun I was having, but I never showed an ounce of the turbulence inside my own mind & the way I was destroying my own body for a sense of self worth I would never achieve.

So why start it all again?

I want to re-ignite what I loved about writing a blog. But I want to write about things which empower me and make me feel independent & fierce. So here we are.

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