TRP Challenge 8- Feel comfortable in a bikini in public
Confidence is like a muscle, the more you use it the stronger it gets. I whole-heartedly believe that body confidence is achievable at any size, however it takes a lot of training to unlearn all the years of body hatred taught to us by the mass media & marketing campaigns aimed to shame us into buying the latest super product in a desperate attempt to rid us of our ‘flaws’. These flaws have been contrived by the very companies aiming to sell us their overpriced wonder products. Spoiler alert, no amount of slimming teas, vitamins, anti ageing/anti cellulite creams can make you feel confident and love yourself. I’m afraid that has to come from yours truly.
When I was a younger, my happy place was always on the beach. More specifically, on a Cornish beach in the summer. Me and my family always spent a week or so a year holidaying on the South West coast, spending days by the sea having sandy picnic lunches of Cornish pasties and frolicking about on the beach with my siblings.
I remember the age I started to feel less comfortable wearing a bikini in public. It was when I was around 16 and I started to feel conscious of the way my body appeared to others. It never bothered me too much until I was around 18, but I definitely felt uncomfortable wearing little or nothing in front of others.
When I developed an eating disorder at university, my self worth and body image plummeted to an all time low. The thought of being in my underwear or a bikini in front of people was torturous, even in front of my closest friends and family. I would make every effort to hide my body. I was in a constant battle with my mind, I hated the way I looked and more deeply who I was, it was all I could think about. Stuck in this spiral of self-loathing and body hatred, I thought I would never ever escape and be able to sunbathe or swim in public again. I distinctly remember a trip to Lake Bled in Slovenia with my dear friend Bex. It was a beautifully hot day and as Bex got into her bikini and jumped in to the lake I sat on the sidelines, too ashamed to unveil the frail body I had come to live in. I also remember being so weak that when we took a kayak out to the island in the centre of the lake, Bex had to do all of the work as my arms and shoulders weren’t strong enough to push the paddle through the water. At the end of that trip I made a promise to myself, I was going to start loving and caring for myself again till one day I felt confident enough to walk around in a bikini and jump in that lake.
It’s been a long journey, but I am now proud to admit I feel completely comfortable and at ease in my body. I am happy to strip down to swim wear whenever there is the opportunity to jump or swim in the sea/a waterfall/lake. I can walk around a swimming pool with my head held high. I happily sit and eat my lunch or drink a cocktail in a position which gives my stomach rolls and don’t think twice about it.
It is important to remember that you can be happy and content with your body at any size. You can learn to accept all your flaws, and to love your imperfections.
For me, one of the best things about travelling around Asia, which I am currently doing, is seeing real people in the flesh in all their different bodies sat around a pool, eating, drinking, laughing and being at ease with themselves. I see their stretch marks, cellulite, scars and rolls and I see beauty. Seeing people in this way is so much more beautiful than seeing airbrushed images of celebrities all over the media. So my main tip for being confident in a bikini is to get out there and look at everyone else in their swimwear and appreciate the individuality of each and every person and how every body is beautiful.
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