The Rosie Project

TRP Challenge 4: Walk to work My fondest childhood memories come from summers spent holidaying in Cornwall. A particularly pertinent one is of me racing my sister and Grandad up the hill next to Daymer Bay. When we weren't running up the hill, we would stroll along the side of the golf course, explore the sand dunes and trek up to the top. The view from the top was always worth the climb, and Daymer Bay still remains my 'happy place', even though I haven't been for several years now. When I find myself suffering from severe anxiety, emotional distress or unable to sleep, I close my eyes and picture myself walking along the beach. I breathe in every sensation, the feeling of sand between my toes, the cool Cornish breeze, the smell of salt air & the feeling of the sun on my face. It brings me comfort and allows me a means to escape the distressing place my mind is in. I often imagine myself walking up the hill, looking out over the estuary. I first use...

TRP Challenge 3: Go back to therapy Growing up, our Mum always taught us that sharing is caring. I think it comes with the territory of being a twin. You share your birthday, your toys, your family and even your room (Me and Molly shared till we were 14!) Sharing is part of the package when you have a large family, you have to learn to do this or risk spending your time on the naughty step. However, material objects, birthdays and even space are a lot easier to share than feelings and emotions, especially when your head is a constant tornado of worries, doubts and paranoia. I remember my first experience of therapy like it was yesterday. I was at University in Liverpool, miles away from my family & then boyfriend, terrified and feeling almost constantly lonely, even when surrounded by friends. I was lost in my own mind. The room was dark & covered in posters about self-help and charities supporting bereavement, mental health problems and stress. I felt sick t...

TRP Challenge 2: Write down 100 things you like/love about yourself I find writing lists extremely therapeutic. The notes section in my phone is filled with shopping lists, lists of gift ideas and lists of chores I need to do. It allows me to focus the constant whirring of my mind, and also helps me to focus on the problem at hand. Despite my affinity with lists, listing all the things I love about myself was more difficult than I could ever imagine. Tell me to write down all the things I love about a friend or relative & I could reel them off to you no problem. It's like when someone asks you what you are good at in a job interview, or when you are asked during an ice breaker to jot down an interesting fact about yourself. *Shudder*. Your mind goes completely blank & all you can think about is how mundane and average you & your life are. And that's just thinking of 1 or 2 things, I set myself the task of listing 100. I first heard about this concept ...

TRP Challenge 1: Start blogging, again I used to write a blog. I used to spend hours editing the html, reviewing the posts I'd written and scrawling through all my favourite blogs. It was a hobby of mine which I sadly began to neglect. I've always loved reading and writing. My career ambition used to be to be a travel journalist. Or food journalist, I could never pick. English was always my best subject at school. I studied English Literature and Philsophy at University, which basically means I spent 3 years as a (semi) professional reader and writer. When I left University, I think I left a part of that behind. I stopped writing my blog. I stopped reading other peoples blogs. Ultimately, I don't think this was because I didn't enjoy either of those things anymore. It was because they reminded me of a difficult time in my life which I was trying to desperately separate myself from. Looking back on my blog now, I am filled with a sense of sadness. Behin...

In the grand scheme of things, I am a very lucky person. This isn't me being boastful, I'm stating an obvious fact which many of us cease to notice the majority of the time. I won the biological lottery. Well I came in joint first with my twin sister. Sharing is caring. Not only did we win the great sperm race, we also hit it pretty lucky with the life we were born into. I was brought up by a loving family, in a small market town, with lots of friends and relatives around me. I hit the jackpot in having a twin sister, which meant I always had my best friend by my side, and someone who would fiercely defend me to the bitter end. I went to a good school & have a university education. I have a well paid job and live in a lovely flat in a quaint town with a stranger who has become one of my best friends.  When you have a life like this, it's easy to think you should be happy with what you have. But I'm not happy. I'm not sad, but I'm ...